Channel 4 News - Anonymous news from around the world

I was skimming through High Winds when I came across an article winningly headlined ‘Handling Suppression on the Fourth Dynamic’ (by then I had learnt that the ‘fourth dynamic’ meant the whole of mankind). In a tone of unforgiving militancy, it talked of ‘eradicating SPs’, and crowed about how they had ’shut down’ one particular defector who had criticised the movement. ‘Unemployed and abandoned by his family, this squirrel had schemed to make money by hawking his lies in a book. But the Office of Special Affairs had a court declare his book libellous. He has now been forced into bankruptcy…’

Dressed in black, sporting masks and handing out leaflets on a sunny Sunday morning, more than 30 people stand on an Edinburgh pavement protesting against the Church of Scientology in Scotland.
John is among them, a 29-year-old from Edinburgh who lifts up his grinning Guy Fawkes mask so he can explain why he’s standing with complete strangers on the city’s South Bridge with a flyer urging Scots not to “let a UFO cult take us back to the Middle Ages”.

Last year the Cheers foil donated $5m to the Church of Scientology. That’s more than big tippers Priscilla Presley ($50,000), or John Travolta ($1m), and nudges her ahead of Scientology’s poster boy, Tom Cruise, who donated the same amount over four years.

But all of them have been dwarfed by a contribution from a celebrity more famous and loved than any of them: Bart Simpson.

It’s upsetting enough that the Fresh Prince has been reportedly handing out Scientology personality tests to his film crew, but it has emerged that the voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, once the idiot savant voice of reason in a world gone screamingly wacko, donated $10m to the Church in 2007.

In July, 1968, following a governmental review, the Minister of Health told Parliament that the organisation “alienates members of families from each other” and had “authoritarian principles and practices” that were a “potential menace to the personality and well being of those so deluded as to become its followers”.

The brilliantly slick My Name Is Earl carries the karmic principle through to its logical/absurd conclusion with reformed felon Earl Hickey making up for past wrongs by doing good deeds. It’s a feelgood kind of show. Yet there’s something rotten at the heart of Earl if you believe the whispers. Critics claim there’s an unholy influence by the Church of Scientology on the show with jobs for the boys and a crypto religious subtext just two of the allegations. I thought it was all about making a better world?

Police and intelligence agencies have been closely following the activities of the group. State security and educational officials have issued warnings to schools and parents that seemingly innocuous tutoring programmes may be fronts to recruit children and their families.

Scientology-affiliated tutoring programmes have more than tripled in the past 12 months, and there are now estimated to be at least 30 nationwide. ‘We know that Scientology is trying to approach students to gain followers,’ said Bavarian Interior Minister Gunther Beckstein, who said there were at least eight tutoring programmes connected to Scientology in Bavaria.

“If they hadn’t put this episode back on air… we wouldn’t be doing anything else with them,” South Park co-creator Matt Stone told trade magazine Variety.

The channel denied pulling the March show to appease Scientologist Cruise.

Cruise also denied reports suggesting he threatened not to promote his film Mission Impossible: 3 if the episode was broadcast.

South Park has exacted revenge on its former star Isaac Hayes by turning his character Chef into a paedophile and seemingly killing him off.

The opening episode of the 10th series, screened in the US on Wednesday, appeared to be a satire on Scientology.

Hayes, a Scientologist, quit the animated comedy after a different episode ridiculed the religion.

South Park’s creators have renewed their “battle” with Scientology, after a US TV channel dropped a show which mocked its church and actor Tom Cruise.

“So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!” Trey Parker and Matt Stone told trade paper Variety.

TV debut in 1997.

But co-creator Matt Stone said Hayes had “never had a problem” until the Scientology Church, to which Hayes belongs, was parodied.

The show was insensitive to “personal spiritual beliefs”, said Hayes.

“There is a place in this world for satire but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs begins,” he said.

‘Religious sensitivity’

Co-creator Stone said Hayes would be released from his contract and had the best wishes of the South Park team.

Stone said: “In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslim, Mormons or Jews.

“He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show.”